Fail God…fail myself. I have felt for years that I was supposed to write.
I’m not sure God cared if it was a blog, book, whatever. Among the many things He has called me to, writing is one of them.
As a result of being scared, this introvert defied that calling for way to long. I journaled for many years, but to put myself out there I have not. Furthermore, I have my excuses of busyness, not smart enough, what do I have to say that someone else would want to read, etc. I have even gone as far as crying out “God what is it you created me for, why am I here?” Consequently, it has always been the same answer in many ways-Tell others of My love.
When the rubber meets the road, as bad as I hate to admit it, it is a trust issue. I do not trust God to do this in me. There I said it.
That in itself is painful, yet I keep doing it. Fear of failing can be paralyzing, as if I was facing to climb this mountain.
Many years ago we had a large craft business, that God had built. Sure I had done crafts but not like this and definitely not to this volume. Our whole family was involved and we even had a few employees. I was feeling pretty good about it and starting to trust my abilities instead of God. You could say I lost focus of what was really important.
One morning, real early before anyone else was around, I went out to begin my work day and I was not able to put anything together. Everything I did failed, and it seemed like I had never touched this stuff before. I quickly realized what had happened, as a result, I bowed my head and cried out to God for forgiveness. Hence, acknowledging, that I was nothing without Him. It was a painful lesson, yet an amazing one, that to this day I am so grateful for. Therefore, immediately I was able to create and get on with my day of work. That business served it’s time. God is good all the time!!!!
10 For all the animals of the forest are mine,
and I own the cattle on a thousand hills.
11 I know every bird on the mountains,
and all the animals of the field are mine.
12 If I were hungry, I would not tell you,
for all the world is mine and everything in it.
I understand His grace is sufficient, furthermore, time is of no essence to Him. Yet today I realize that I have missed out on many blessings, God had for me, if I would have been obedient. When I fail God, I really fail myself. His plan will prevail, it’s just for me to acknowledge that I’m missing out on His blessings He has for me, while I think I have a better plan, or know what’s best for me.
Wow!!! What a lesson!!!
I just wanted to share it with you.
As a result, now I’m asking where else am I not being obedient and missing my blessings?
Today I’m putting my foot in the water, yet this time I’m trusting God. Furthermore, I’m trusting Him for everything. The words, the smarts, the purpose, etc. His word says:
What shall we then say to these things?
If God be for us, who can be against us?
What are you not trusting God for? What blessings are you missing out on? Ask Him.